What Jesus has done for me

My personality disorder that was, that is,
understood using insight and self-perception,
being a mother to myself.

I hold up my left hand, palm up...
This is me as a child, 0 - 15, Caroline,
gifted and with lots of potential,
unloved and abused, mocked and ridiculed,
disciplined unwisely, so rebellious,
hated by those who should love.
I slowly curl up the fingers.

She shrivelled inside, curled up and
well, almost died psychologically.
I hold out my right hand, palm up...
This is me when grown up, 16 - 51
the wilderness years, wandering, seeking
purpose and love.

At 16 I changed my name and rejected my family.
I became "Carol", the gifts and potential
and childhood memories sealed inside "Caroline",
that inner child, but with a thread of a link to "Carol",
a woman without a childhood foundation.

I close my right hand over my left,
"Caroline" inside "Carol".
I came to His House in 2001, to the Lord in 2012
and healing began.

Three years of battling later, and watered with love,
the seed that's in Caroline awakens, as does she.
The two parts become one and reintegrated,
getting to know one another.
Lots of tears and joy as they get reacquainted.
Now I'm "me" properly, one broken made whole
by our creator Himself, the Great Physician
and Wonderful Counsellor.

I've a Father, a Brother and His Spirit within,
not potions and pills, I'm just "Caroline Sheila Hill"
completely restored and with love daily poured upon me.

Thanks and bless You, Lord, forgiven much and loving much,
and praying for others with broken hearts.
 

Caroline Sheila Hill, 21/07/2015